Friday, February 25, 2011

O Flower of Scotland! today I found out that a quite French word, "Caldercruix", is pronounced by the Scots as


That fairly well sums up the British attitude toward the French, but the Scots have this particularly virulent form of Contrarianism that puts easygoing Americans to shame. (Contrarianism: Standing against anything commonly accepted, for fear of being labeled part of a crowd. Best test: whether a label for this Devil's Advocacy attitude bothers you.)

The Scots are not content to simply bash the English and their neighbors across the sea, they like to 'adopt, adapt and improve'.
  • To show that they are not English, they install bagpipers in large cities and loudly sing nationalistic songs at football matches, not only on key but also with several pints apiece inside them. (We can sing better and louder than you can; do you even KNOW the words to "God Save the Queen"?!)
  • To show that they are not Irish OR American, they loudly proclaim that their whiskey (a) was made first, (b) tastes better, and (c) was not used by American bootleggers. (Our rancid grain juice is miles better than yours.)
  • To prove that they are not French, they hold to the Highland games and Highland dancing (Our men still look better in skirts than your women do), and mispronounce their words. (Michael McIntyre assigns this particular Contrarianism to the English, but the sense is the same:)

Summary Motto:

We will take your words
But you will never take
OUR FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...and for those who don't mind Scottish swearing, Robin Williams' summary of golf is brilliant.